I can’t get the word gratitude out of my head, and I’m not mad about it. It is easily the one word that summarizes how I constantly feel. I’ve written quite a bit in my first few posts, as well as journal regularly about how I have a deep sense of gratitude for everything I have been through since February 19, 2015. All the rough moments, uncertainty, questions, conflict, and despair, all make sense now. It is so clear to me now, that God doesn’t give you what you want, he gives you exactly what you need. I had questioned my faith for so long, that in my darkest moment it was all made so clear. For that, I am so thankful. Literally pouring with gratitude from moment to moment. 

Seven months ago, I felt stuck. I felt trapped. I felt like I couldn’t get out of my own way. It was a severe internal conflict, that I alone couldn’t solve. Every prayer was answered when I had my second heart attack. I didn’t realize it immediately, but as I came to grips with my new direction in life, I saw it was all part of the plan. For that, I am so grateful. 

As I write this on Christmas Eve, I am down 50 lbs., my bloodwork is perfect, I’m filled with faith, and with my parents and Beth’s help, I have published an ebook that I have poured my heart into. Hopefully, I can help others that are going through what I was able to overcome. 

And all I can think about is my gratitude for every moment that has led me to right here, right now. 

Merry Christmas everyone! 

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